The thought today is.. what is the balance between remaining unbothered (by way of dealing with all things internally), and letting folks know what bothers you, attempting to share the responsibility of your discomfort with them?
For example; someone walks in your house with shoes on. You've asked them before not to wear shoes in the house. Do you remind them? Or do you go in deep and find the internal reason why you're so bothered by the behavior, thus not having to carry the discomfort with you? Or both?
And then, how many times are they allowed to forget before you show your bothered-ness, or before further action is taken? Is action needed to be taken? Is it taken with emotion and accusation or can it be done with logic alone?
As humans is it inevitable that our egos will have us taking everything personally?
Or is our feeling of disrespect just something we must work through internally? How many times must one forget to take their shoes off to not be allowed into the home anymore?
If you walk into a Shaolin Temple and the monk says "please remove your shoes as a courtesy to the great temple spirits" and the person makes a mistake and comes the next time with shoes again, does the monk ask again? Or does the monk find it in themselves to let it be worked through by the temple spirits who are far more powerful? And if the person continues to forget or ignore the wish, are they kept out of the temple or dealt with sheerly by the power of the temple energies that are so trusted in by the monks?
And what happens when it's not just shoes but the way a loved one speaks to you ? Or the way a stranger stole from you ?
Where does "everything happens for me not to me" end, and confrontational enforcement of boundaries begin ?
Since no one can "make you" feel a way, and their behavior really only speaks about them and not you, then does disrespect exist? Or is that just a projection based on us taking their behavior as a personal attack?
Does a goddess need to confront, or does she believe in her power so truly that anything/anyone in her sphere is forced into respect by the powers of nature that she so gracefully trusts?
Something tells me this could be a lifelong ponder. But lately what I've been doing that seems to work, is having a conversation with the person through my higher self. Say someone does something that I find to be disrespectful. I stop and think, am I able to be disrespected? If so, is disrespect a reflection of my name or my soul or my self worth? Am I made less valuable or less worthy of respect by not immediately reacting or opposing their lack of courtesy? Or was that a possible projection of disrespect based on my programming of what I must encounter and how I must react to be considered a "strong woman," or other similar phrases? Usually it ends in me realizing I cannot be disrespected, for my guides and protection energy cultivation has made it so that only that which is in line with my greatest divine wellbeing and joy is all that may access me. So it must be that anyone who attempts projected disrespect is actually thwarted in their attempt by 1. my perspective and 2. the lessons of love and abundance that come quickly after I dedicate time to a higher self conversation, for both of us. I literally sit down with the person in my mind, and we speak. I lay out everything I wanted to say, and they raise their points, and then I imagine us both having learned from the situation, both feeling grateful that we innerstand eachother. I "leave" these convos with a better understanding of the person, and a better understanding of myself.
Another tool I use is visualizing the feelings that come after a conversation like that. The feelings of ease and release, the feelings of, I see you deeper now, etc. And I trust that all that is needed to be said and understood has made or is making its way to both of our psyches. I realize that incredible abundance is ours and we have just released yet another blockage to it. Cleared the smoke in front of abundance, drew back the curtains to abundance, cut down the blinds hiding us from the abundance of this particular situation, whatever it may be. It is highly surprising the responses I get in real time (not in my mind) from folks that I have these mental conversations with!
And a last third tool I use, is visualizing, or imagining speaking to my friends or writing in my diary about how wonderful my relationship with this person has become, how much I've learned from our interactions and feel so held and loved and seen by the person, and have been told I hold wonderful space for them as well. I imagine being surprised by our collective growth with each other and the feelings I have of being in relationships that fulfill me and the other person in ways we never even thought of. This is great work to build a reality you feel joyful in, no matter what your current circumstance.