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The World From In Here

Self work is spiritual work because you’re God.

I've been feeling defeated.

And what's helping me is the idea that earth is just where this shit goes down. period. and all that I can shift is my perspective, possibly then the perspective of others. i don’t believe we are “supposed to be” or “supposed to feel” anything other than what you do feel naturally and only you can define that.

It’s easy to get buried under systemic racism and the views -that we and our family on this earth can’t help but internalize- about how we are supposed to look think and act based on our heritage, culture, society, community, and conditioning.

I find a lot of belief in the idea of reincarnation, I'm intrigued by the idea that each planet has a lesson and when we incarnate here, on earth, our lesson is to learn about struggle, or negativity. There are theories that say that we as high vibrational beings lowered our frequency to be able to come to earth and experience negativity, so that we can experience the whole of frequency.

I'm interested in this because it makes sense for me to rationalize my current experience in the world this way.

First Ill say, we as a human race deem our perception of negativity as the only one. But negativity is just a side to a spectrum. It's not actually bad, unless we are speaking based on what human beings have agreed to as our laws on earth. But speaking on a general spectrum, in order to come into negativity, we must be experiencing positivity, to be able to classify it.

A metaphor: If it was always sunny, you'd not call it a sunny day, you would just call it a day. There must be contrast to name something as different, and experience it as new.

So in regard to the theory, it makes sense that as beings in this earth experience, meant to experience how we are affected by negativity, that we would be peace and positivity-focused beings. This explanation of the earth may seem dark to some, but it's helping me zoom out at the moment and understand my constant frustration with "the system."

And thats the gist. I go a little deeper below.


Everyone has a struggle. Why would there be things on earth that were actually bad, in the eyes of the Creator, or Source, or the energy as a whole, if the ultimate control is in their hands? It would have to mean the control isn't in the hands of Source, or that it was there on purpose. As a believer in source energy, or God, which is present in each of us, I resonate with the latter. I feel like whether you are in close proximity to a universal struggle, expected to have a life of struggle or your struggles are nuanced and seen by the outside mainstream as non existent, it is the presence of struggle -and in turn, lack of struggle- that we are here to deal with. Us having decided to agree with the fact that struggle is our definition of struggle, and that it is bad, has controlled a lot of our narratives as aboriginal, indigenous, moorish, black, brown people. There exists not a being on this earth that does not encounter struggle. To be the chosen sperm is a struggle and it happens before you're even born. It is the beings' perspective of their struggle, and the relation of their struggle to the rest of the planet, that makes a struggle have a name and a place in our world. That’s just how we do things here on earth. So as much as everything hurts right now, the idea that however we are feeling is part of our ascendance from earth is freeing to me. It helps me zoom out. It helps me see the abundance-based motivation of the 'revolution' I so intuitively fight on a daily basis.

Which brings me to a special point. In saying I can relax knowing that all this pain and suffering is part of a greater journey, it is still a small anxiety-easer in a world of situations that it doesn't work for me in. Sometimes I just break down, sometimes I fight a lot harder than is healthy for myself and in unhealthy ways, because the whole just seems more important than my individual well being. But how can I be a revolutionary in the world without being a revolutionary of my own self, my own habits, movements, awareness, thoughts, ideas, inner and understanding?

So I don’t mean that to say we shouldn’t be fighting for equality. That’s part of it as well. It actually makes the fight easier when you don’t internalize it, when you see that this is just our world and part of that world is navigating around, through, and out of negativity, to then fall into new negativity, and navigate again. I only feel that it’s supposed to be this way because it IS this way. and that’s my point, whatever is happening right now is what’s supposed to be happening. That doesn’t mean we want it to be that way; actually, part of what’s supposed to be, is the very fact of us not wanting it to be..

But man listen it seems to have been the same general kind of turmoil off and on for all of time as we know it. And although this could be the year things change, or the century, or the decade, or the month, it breathes a sigh of relief knowing it's not anything TRULY new. We've had immense earth-struggle (and by that I mean the struggle to stay in a healthy relationship with the earth and ourselves as a whole) since anyone living now on earth can remember. Only under the rules we have all agreed upon is this horrible and shitty. And we have 100% agreed upon them. Self included.

However, In the view of “God” or whatever can see us outside of the world we’ve created for ourselves, things are exactly on schedule. This is just one experience, in one dimension, in one time-space, in one body, in one mind, in one perspective. If we are traveling, cosmic beings, and earth is a stopping point, it might be important to take into account that processing our experience, allowing ourselves to be validated in our emotions and experiences, and trusting more in our ability to be judges of what is "right" to feel an do for ourselves in this time, could take the stress off of us as a people. Of our own judgements.

Working on our ability to celebrate ourselves no matter what or how the world sees us as, is resistance to the constant revolution against the innumerable amounts of destruction and imperialism in our world.

Our focus as people is to come to peace for all beings. If you are a part of that group that Im speaking of, of people who want good quality of life for all beings, you know it is innate. You don't try to want that. It would be much more convenient not to care. We feel a deep sorrow that we mostly dont like to feel. So -- and now before I say this-- I know a lot of you out here already have reasons that this may happen, like, "well this is all just a shit mess and we are all gonna feel how we don't want to feel because theres nothing we can do about it and thats the meaning of life. there is no meaning of life." And that is you, and you are valid.

I see life differently. Whatever reason for that being my belief, I am still of the mind, irrefutably, that thinks, why would we be put here, in the midst of SO MANY THINGS that make us feel how we don't want to feel unless encountering things we dont want to feel was part of the reason we are here. I’m suffering, I’m tired, I’m confused, Im excited, I’m scared, Im abundant, Im annoyed, all part of the lesson my energetic body is learning; and the lesson of the collective body as well. So keep doing the work, keep feeling, but maybe it can help you to remember that when it feels like nothings happening or you feel hopeless, that that might just be another piece of the puzzle we are putting together in our earth-life, and that those emotions are needed.

How do you tell if something is needed? Simply because it exists.

I hear some of you: “so racism is needed? murder is needed? abuse is needed?”

and i worry that you’ve missed my point. But yes, simply because it exists, then apparently it is needed. Now then ipso facto the fight against it is needed as well, because here we have the if this whole thing isn't one...

Just because something is needed in the grand scheme of the multiverse, doesn't mean it should be accepted in our individual lives. These situations are case-by-case, and the only unifying factor is that they ARE INDEED HAPPENING. So the focus on these situations is personal. But the greater zoom-out, the part that makes me feel at ease, is that it's up to us how we want to WORK to focus on what makes us feel how we want to feel, and fight what we dont, but not under the motivation of lack, or fear. Fear of what will happen if we don't, fear that we're the only ones to do the job, fear that we won't accomplish and our ego will be hurt. We instead might find more comfort working beside the motivation of abundance. We have everything in the world for the job we need to do here. I wish some things didn't exist, in my personal life, and seeing how certain things affect others. I find this to be obvious.

But as far as looking out the eye of God, why would something be on the earth if it was unnecessary? The earth is far more powerful than us. We just need to keep working to fight the shit because it's our biggest focus, intuitively. Period. And that says a lot about why opposing things to our collective desire exist.we are made gods by the fact that as our birthright we are the highest rank in the controller of our reality. We are conditioned, expertly, to think the opposite, and that is the only thing that makes it true to us.

This how I been coping with it anyway.


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